This post is further on the rant side of the spectrum.
I went on a bike ride today with my younger sister. It was tough, but good. We were almost home, and because she was ahead of me, she made the green light. I waited on the corner for my time to cross. As I waited, I heard a voice yelling at me. "Heyyy giiiirl! Hey!" I didn't look at first, but then I glanced at them in their little car. As the light turned green they continued yelling as we all crossed the street. The last thing I heard was, "I wanna pee in your butt-hole!"
Now, let me explain a couple things about myself before I give my thoughts on this event.
Remember how I said I want to help young girls? Yes, this is because I am very passionate about women knowing their worth and about women being treated with the utmost love and respect. I am a champion of purity, modesty, chastity, and authentic love. I am hyper-sensitive to issues regarding harassment, assault, sexual abuse, and other such evils. I do not tolerate sexist attitudes, inappropriate and disrespectful jokes about sex and/or women.
For my Sociology 101 class we had to watch the movie "North Country." Charlize Theron does a marvelous job in it, by the way. It is based on the true story about the women who started working with the men in I think the mining industry. The movie depicts their struggle with the daily torments of sexual discrimination, harassment and assault, and Theron plays the woman who eventually takes her issue to court. Spoiler alert: we find out that Theron's character was raped as a teenager by one of her high school teachers. The movie shows the rape scene, and shows how her boyfriend runs away instead of helping her. The entire movie illustrates how far the men in the mines went to make the women's lives a living hell. Now I watched that movie on a little TV in the university library. I texted my boyfriend at the time that I was done watching it, so he came to walk me to my dorm. I literally cried my eyes out in his arms for probably half an hour. That is how painful that movie was for me to watch. Why? I don't know. God must have given me a heart that is especially sensitive to this kind of stuff.
Now back to today's incident. I did not yell back at the boys, I did not flip them off, as my sister said she would have done. I merely crossed the street and biked the half-block back to my house. I told my sister what happened and she was frustrated. I was becoming increasingly aggravated. I changed and went into my brother's room and told him "Some boys said bad things to me while I was biking." His expression revealed a "Oh, come on..." type of reaction, and I called him out and asked what that face meant. He said "Well, bad for you can mean two different things..."
Here's the thing. I don't care whether you yell "Hey hottie, can I have your number?!" or what those boys said today: both are NOT okay. Both are harassment, both are revealing a disrespect and lack of acknowledgment of men and women's common humanity. Both say "You are an object for my pleasure rather than a person to be cherished."
So I cried for a while. I cried for the boys, saying a prayer that they would change. I cried for the girls they've hurt and prayed for protection for the girls they may hurt. I cried in utter exasperation at a society- at a world- that socializes boys into thinking they are entitled to say things that like to women, and to treat women as less than human. Did those boys even think before they said that to me? Did they think about what it meant? Would they want some guy saying that to their sister? Do they think their mom would be proud that her boy made such a remark?
Their specific comment was disgusting, and it horrified me. That's the kind of attitude that makes rape seem okay. It reveals some frightening misogyny. And I cried that they have that attitude, and that they made me feel like dirt. I just can't believe anyone could say that to someone.
So now I'm a bit scarred, a bit angry, and very hurt. I cried to my parents when they came home. Thank goodness for the comforting embrace of my father, a man who treats me like treasure.
Needless to say, that ruined my bike ride a bit.
Lord, forgive those boys for what they said, and transform their hearts into ones that will love and cherish women. Help every woman know her worth, and not be broken down by hateful and sexist comments. Guide us to live in full awareness of the equal dignity between man and woman, and help us love each other as You love us. Amen.
AMDG BVMH
