Fiat Voluntas Tua

I had a nice long chat yesterday with the mother of a friend of mine. She is one of the most beautiful women in the entire world: holy and loving and an incredible example of selfless love and motherhood done right. I want to be like her. Anyway, I talked her ear off for an hour or two about what happened this last year at school- all the joy, fun, hurt, and heartbreak that I experienced. Her advice was simple and profound. She told me to surrender to God's Providence, to stop striving. "The more we trust, the more God acts," she said. She advised that I just seek God and try to love Him as best I can, and everything else will fall into place. She said I didn't need to be seeking a guy, or worrying about when I'll find him- she said I didn't need to do anything. Just seek God and trust Him, and let Him do all the work.
Good advice, I thought. Implementing it will be difficult, but I need to do it. I've already felt my peace of heart slipping away recently as I wonder how on earth I'm going to find a good guy to marry (if that's God's will), along with what the heck I'm doing/going to do with my life. Feeling the pressure to search for the right guy, to plan my career path, to figure out my future, has left me feeling empty and paralyzed...and afraid. The anxiety (from the Latin angere meaning "to choke") has taken a hold of me and made me miserable. And quite frankly, I'm tired of it. So like my friend's mother said, I'm surrendering.
God, give me the grace to trust in You and Your plan for me. Help me strive for nothing but the fulfillment of Your will, and grant me peace of heart.
Now for today's Scriptures (http://www.usccb.org/nab/today.shtml) which, of course, apply perfectly to my current situation. St. Paul talks about boasting of his weaknesses- if I feel anything right now, it's weakness. So it's perfect that the first reading says "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness," and "Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong." NICE. And then, of course, the Gospel reading from Matthew is about not being anxious: "Do not worry about tomorrow..." and "But seek first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides." Exactly, right?! I need to focus on the one goal- the Kingdom of God (and all the things that go with it- holiness, prayer, Mass, etc.) and following God's will for me, and He will take care of the rest. I do not need to worry. I do not need to plan. I do not need to strive. I need to let go. That will give me peace. Another Bible verse that is helpful in this: "The Lord himself will fight for you;  you have only to be still" (Exodus 14:14). And a favorite quote of mine from St. Faustina: "However, beyond all abandonment I trust, and in spite of my own feeling I trust...Do not lessen any of my sufferings, only give me strength to bear them. Do with me as you please, Lord, only give me the grace to be able to love You in every event and circumstance." Awesome.
So that will be my focus for a while- abandonment, submission, surrender, and total trust. Pray for me. Blessed Mother, pray for me.
AMDG BVMH